Learning from the Best: Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

Do big tech company employees have public speaking fear?

Have you felt peer pressure before? Recently reorganization (which means team changes) happened in my department and because of that, I changed my team to work on something new and challenge myself. So, there was a meeting last week at my current manager’s manager (skip) level to announce the news. Along with me, other engineers also changed their teams, so my skip asked in group meetings to share their news independently. A senior engineer in our team started sharing their experience of the current team, and how much he liked the team. What good happened in the team, how much support he got from the manager, why he is changing the team, and where he’s heading, etc.

I respect that engineer and I learned a lot from him. At that time, I was talking to myself while listening to him, kinda preparing a speech for myself in my mind along with listening to senior engineers, which created fear inside me. In my mind, I was like I had not prepared any speech about this. What if I get completely blank? What if I say something wrong and I will burn bridges with this team? You cannot do what the senior engineer did here. You don’t belong here. He’s really good at technical and communication.

Technical vs Communication skills

My friend, Rajesh, told me an interesting concept about technical & communication skills and I agree with him. Rajesh said there are two types of people, especially in the tech industry—those blessed with technical knowledge but struggle in communication or they think they struggle, like me and Rajesh. Some people are superb at communication but struggle with technical knowledge. Those who are great at communication are usually around you, in positions like managers, tech lead, CEO, CTO, and, in my friend’s case, vice president.

Managers in a technical area must be technically excellent. Managers in software must write great software or it’s like being a cavalry captain who can’t ride a horse! - Elon Musk

Rajesh also struggles with communication. But his VP is a great storyteller. He respects his VP. Many times Rajesh doesn’t go against him in the meetings as he knows his VP will convince others or argue with him until Rajesh is out of words so he thinks it’s not worth it. To me, it is wrong, and to become successful in the technology field, you need to have both skills. So I started reading and learning about improving my communication skills. Since public speaking fear is everywhere from startups to FAANG companies, I will share some easy-to-take tips and even encourage you to take one action before reading this article.

Action #1: Passive Public Speaking

Luckily I got one colleague, who is a senior software engineer at Amazon, who later became my mentor. Even though our teams are totally different, I occasionally contact him to get guidance about the challenges that I face. My mentor once told me on this topic “You need to expose yourself more and more even if it is hard. If you complete the project, share it in the Slack channel, send an email to all stakeholders, including your manager’s manager, etc.” I think this is a passive way of public speaking.

When I started doing that, it was hard at first. The first time posting in a Slack group, I thought I was just bragging about myself. I felt it was my responsibility to deliver the good work why shouting about it. Regardless of all those thoughts and feelings, I still did that. Nothing bad happened. In fact, engineers from other teams started reaching out to me (because I advertised that work) and I could see other engineers started thinking I was good at what I worked, which increased my confidence slowly.

Let me make this action easier for you. Leave a comment in this post and find others who also are going through similar public speaking fear. Collaborate and grow together.

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." - Walt Disney

Action #2: Mindset Change

Currently, I’m reading a popular book called, Atomic Habits. James, the author of the book, goes very deep into how to start a good habit. One concept got stuck with me and I applied it to improve my public speaking skills. James explains that if you need to build any habit, you have to make it easier. Let me tell you how I understood. Suppose you are working for a technology-based company. At that time, you’ll be telling yourself something like

• I have to live in this city. (this = where you’re leaving. eg. Bay Area)

• I have to attend (standup/design review) meetings.

Now let’s say you got fired (I don’t want it for you) or you’ve recently graduated or are currently in the market looking for a job. After SIX months of job hunting, you received one job interview. At that time, you will be thinking like:

• I get to live in this city.

• I get to attend (standup/design review) meetings.

You see, how one word can change the feelings? First creates negative feelings, which is something you don’t want to do. Another one creates positive feelings that you want to do immediately, more likely again and again. Similarly, whenever you get a chance of public speaking, it can be at your job or family gatherings or between friends, just simply change what you’re telling yourself. Simply replace “Have to” with “Get to”, it will make a lot of difference.

As I encouraged you earlier to drop a comment to start taking passive public speaking action, mindset change for that also helps. If you could say “I get to drop a comment and take 1st step to improve my public speaking skills”, you will immediately take action.

For me, I have a long way to go to become super cool in public speaking. But due to the above learnings I received and I kept taking action, now I don’t need to give that much effort to advertise my winnings, saying something publicly. Also, this gave me the courage to start this newsletter and publicly expose my weaknesses now.